A poem in memory of Auntie Pinkie.

Wanted

New body for open-hearted soul,

Described by some as “an elegant hippy”.

The candidate must be willing to travel and make friends

Wherever they go.

Gender unimportant.

Ideally with their own inbuilt sense of fun

And a pinch of mischief.

Okay more than a pinch.

A being who is prepared to spend most of the time outdoors having adventures.

Foodie.

Must understand that Covid vaccination is not an option

Please mail CV to spiritual_elegant_hippy_inthesky@soulmail.com

Reflection

I wrote “In Memory” because I love my aunt very much. The last birthday card she sent me was so typically her, saying although it went without saying she loved me very much. I kept that card after her death last year, as a reminder. But I don’t need a card to remember how surrounded in love I felt whenever she was around. Believing in reincarnation, she will be out there somewhere seeking a new body, in who knows what universe, or world …

If you’d like to read other fiction written by be, check out my goodreads page.

L’article In memory est apparu en premier sur Emma Parfitt Proofreading Editing Services.

The AIIRA Writing Contest AI Institute for Resilient Agriculture (AIIRA)

The competition: Think of a career you’d like to have in the future. How might AI technology advance your field and help you perform your job within the next decade? What aspects or duties of your job may become irrelevant due to AI? Describe a day in the life of your job with AI as your new work partner.

Your submission can be either a creative nonfiction essay speculating on the changes your desired career may undergo or a fictional scene depicting what your desired job may look like in ten years.

Reminder to self, read rules before writing for competitions 😉 So I created this, then realised the contest was for US citizens only. However for any cititzens interseted in the comp (SEPT deadline) check it out here.

3,500 words for AI short story competition.

AI Proofreading

MORNING, JANE. SHALL WE GET TO WORK?

‘Sure, Hally. Ouch, Caps give me a headache first thing.’

WHAT WOULD YOU PREFER?

‘Blue, lower case.’

Certainly. Our task for today is to copyedit the book ‘Clashmaeclavers and Fisherlassies’.

‘What does that clash clavers word mean, in as few words as possible?’

Gossip.

‘Setting and book summery?’

Scotland, 1815, storyteller Mairead meets and marries a Scottish fisherman. Four years later a pair of hands drowns her. In a village that considers her an outcast there are plenty of suspects.

‘Fascinating.’

I’m glad you found it interesting!

‘I was being sarcastic. Never mind, don’t respond to that one. Check manuscript for inconsistencies.’

Forty-two inconsistencies detected.

‘Continue.’

The name of the main character has two spellings Mairead and Maighread.

‘Are these from different character’s perspectives?’

Yes

‘Leave them as is. Flag any scenes which use both to me.’

Done.

‘Continue.’

A number of words have mixed -ize and -ise endings.

‘Example?’

Organize.

‘Use Oxford British spelling throughout the manuscript. Ize endings where that dictionary suggests it.’

Done.

‘Continue.’

Some Gaelic words have been flagged for checking.

‘Cross reference to Gaelic dictionary for alternative spellings. Create a list to email to the author with alternative spelling options.’

The author has provided a stylesheet. I have crosschecked the words and they all match.

‘Do a grammar and spelling check.’

Done. One phrase requires checking.

‘Read.’

Their Scottish­­ Irish English accents.

‘Let me see in context … Okay, got it. Hyphenate Scottish, Irish and English.’

Done.

‘Beta-reader mode?’

During the climax, when the stranger held Mairead under the waves and was revealed as Ned, I thought, who’s Ned? He was of such little significance at the beginning of the story.

‘Does Ned feature in initial scene?’

He glares and Mairead and asks her for an answer in passing.

‘Show me. Yes, here at this point. Introduce more dialogue to tell reader why this is so important. Suggestions?’

I suggest adding dialogue later in scene when Mairead is talking to the fisherman. He demands an answer she refuses.

‘She’s sitting by a campfire with the fisherman and he’s standing over them.’

That comes across as threatening body language.

‘She says no, he persists, “we’ve business to conclude” he says, she gives a quip, raises her chin, yet she’s nervous. How can I show signs of nervousness?

Biting nails, sweating, shaking, jerky movements.

‘Hands, I like shaking hands. But he still says, “that’s no answer”. So she, she’s a-a storyteller right?’

Correct.

‘She says something poetic. It’s only when he walks away that she can relax. Incorporate that in to the scene referring to author’s tone and style throughout the rest of the dialogue.’

Done. Your voice sounds different.

‘Does it? I suppose that’s more satisfying than being a glorified typewriter checker. There’s not much storytelling in this job. And here we’ve helped do our checks and make the story better.’

Your job is a valuable contribution to the readers. Would you like to hear back the scene you’ve added?

‘Yes, please.’

‘Mairead!’ Ned is standing over us.

‘Go away.’

‘We’ve business to conclude.’

‘’Tis concluded.’ I raise my chin slightly, a signal that he has his answer, and turn my back to him. I hope he can’t see my quivering hands.

‘That’s no answer.’

‘No. A thousand times no.’ I don’t bother to turn, clasping my hands together to still them, and keeping my attention locked on Lachlan whose shoulders are tense. Will he jump and push Ned away, or hold back?

I can finally breathe when I hear Ned’s boots striking the ground in the direction of his pals.

‘We did that! And that’s much better. This story is actually quite nuanced.’

Yes, when comparing it against my database of literature I find it unique.

‘Really?’

You sound surprised.

‘I thought there were no more stories to be written.’

Not by AI perhaps, however each human mind is unparalleled. No one has your parents, your experiences. Once gone it’s gone forever. And this is what your job is helping to preserve.

‘Thank you, HALLY you’ve helped me to appreciate the art of storytelling today.’

You’re welcome, Jane. I’m glad you enjoyed the editing process. You have a creative mind and a good sense of storytelling. I think you could write your own stories if you wanted to.

About me

A creative writer, constantly striving to get published by … focusing on writing …

You can read my lastest book A Friendship of Thistles via Amazon.

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First lines. Confused? May be we sweat a little too much about first impressions. There’s nothing to them. The best way to find them is often to write and a sentence will jump out at some stage. In other words, don’t worry about first lines until you’ve written the entire manuscript. Controversial? Possibly.

Yet, now and again as a writer I do like to focus on a certain element of a book. For example, first lines. Because you never know when you’ll learn something new. For example, casting my eye over some of the novels books I have read this year reveals the following:-

Some quotations

Dylan was six years old when I noticed a mark behind his left ear the size of a thumbprint

—After the End, Clare Mackintosh

My calendar is full of dead people.

—The book of two ways, Jodi Picoult

I am scared of my wife’s eyes.

—The beekeeper of Aleppo, Christy Lefteri

I have heard it said, by those that cannot possibly know, that in the final moments of a man’s existence he sees his whole life pass before his eyes.

—Bellman & Black, Diane Setterfield

Megan’s legs swung forward, back … thump, forward, back … thump, on the picnic bench.

—Shattered Roses, E.L. Parfitt

I have told Eileen to get rid of all of the mirrors.

—Away with the penguins, Hazel Prior

Listen.

—The giver of stars, Jojo Moyes

At night I would lie in bed and watch the show, how bees squeezed through the cracks of my bedroom wall and flew circles around the room, making that propeller sound, a high-pitched zzzzzz that hummed along my skin.

—The secret life of bees, Sue Monk Kidd

So great was the noise during the day that I used to lie awake at night listening to the silence.

—A far cry from Kensington, Muriel Spark

A brass bell chimes as an unexpected visitor pulls its cord.

—A Friendship of Thistles, E.L. Parfitt

When I was seven, I found a door.

—The Ten Thousand Doors of January, Alix E. Harrow

In the vast, steep garden or Bell Gardia, great gusts of wind lashed the plants.

—The Phone Box at the Edge of the World, Laura Imai Messina

Jonah Hancock’s counting-house is built wedge-shaped and coffered like a ship’s cabin, whitewashed walls and black skirting, beam pegged snugly to beam.

—The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock, Imogen Hermes Gowar

The baby’s black crying wormed and bloomed.

—Conjure Women, Afia Atakora

Marsh is not swamp.

—Where the crawdad’s sing, Delia Owens

Final thoughts

A lot of shorter sentences mentioning death and bees, some with a nice rhyme to them, some catching humour or an unusual aspect, others more descriptive of the setting or atmosphere (I sneaked in a few of my own there). So however you start your book some reader out there is bound to resonate with it once you have found your voice. That is, if it’s a good one.

Megan’s legs swung forward, back … thump, forward, back … thump, on the picnic bench.

—Shattered Roses, E.L. Parfitt

Currently promoting your book? If you click the link here and mention my name you’ll get one free month of book promotion as part of a review programme. Think review exchange.

L’article First lines: the importance of est apparu en premier sur Emma Parfitt Proofreading Editing Services.

For a breakdown of the different types of dash/hyphen see my article on Em dash use in formal writing.

The easiest way to understand em dash use in creative writing is to read and decide for yourself what works and what doesn’t work. So below I will demonstrate through three books I recently read, and enjoyed: Portnoy’s Complaint, The Miniaturist and The Wolves of Winter.

1. Use dashes like Philip Roth

In Portnoy’s Complaint, Roth largely uses dashes to emphasise the inner — and sceptic — thoughts of his main character.

For in that time not a day—very likely, not an hour—passed that I did not ask myself…

…and say aloud—aloud!—“He’s dead.”

He uses the em dash for pauses and breaks in thought.

What if I get killed—or even worse, arrested!

When, so that we can leave off complaining how sick we are—and go out into the air, and live!

2. Use dashes like Jessie Burton

In The Miniaturist, Burton uses dashes to signify a pause, or break, in thought:

Cornelia says, ‘and then – Epiphany.’

‘He had a dagger, Seigneur. I thought he was going to – I never meant—’

Observe above, that she distinguishes what appear to be en dashes (–) from longer em dashes (—, my emphasis), using one for a pause the other when the character’s words are unfinished. The difference is clearer in the original text. The publisher’s in-house style may have led to this.

Burton also uses them for emphasis in speech:

‘We – you – must agree upon the terms.”

And for asides:

It could be, but those eyes – no one has ever looked at Nella like that before in her life – such a calm, transfixing curiosity.

3. Use dashes like Tyrell Johnson

In The Wolves of Winter, Johnson uses dashes for a pause in thought:

One, two – the first numbers of his tattoo were visible.

I tried to let the anger blow over me like snow on a car windshield—distant memories: [list]

Note in the one above that the pause functions to introduce a list, therefore breaking up a longer sentence.

Johnson also uses the dash to indicate an aside in thought:

Jax had gone—been escorted, rather—to Jeryl’s cabin after dinner.

It wouldn’t hold as well—a deer could probably pull it apart—but still, it was better than throwing the wire away.

And to break up speech:

Sure, we’re here to study people—see why the flu doesn’t like the chilly parts of the world.

In summary, dashes are use in creative writing for the following purposes:

*To indicate a stronger break than a parenthesis, such as one which indicates an aside, or a character’s internal thought that the writer wants to highlight to the reader.

*To indicate a pause in speech.

*Or to introduce what comes next, whether a new thought or a list (as a way to break up a longer sentence).

All three writers have these techniques in common, even if they have different preferences for what types of dashes they use.

Who is Emma?

Emma is a proofreader with 18 years of writing experience with businesses, academics and creative writers. She obtained a Creative Writing MA (St Andrews University) and a PhD in Storytelling (Warwick University). Then set up her own proofreading business and became a published author of fiction as well as academic literature such as Young People, Learning & Storytelling (Palgrave Macmillan).

Get in touch.

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I love King’s book On Writing, and recommend that you read it. I wouldn’t say every writer has to write like him, his advice can be genre specific and even he says you need to work on your own style. But he does give some good advice for writers that cross genres, and after reading a dozen books full of clichés lately creative writers clearly need to read his book. Here are some top tips for your writer’s “toolbox”.

Omit needless words

The number one rule. Write as you will, then in the editing stage go back and cut out the words that get in the way of the story you are telling. Editing people’s work I sometimes find they have stated something twice where one strong verb would do. So this is the point to choose your words wisely. Your word choice defines you as a writer.

Grammar

Get a firm grasp of the basics. If you don’t understand a rule there are ways of writing and avoiding them for example, I recently read The Uncommon Life of Alfred Warner in Six Days (Juliet Conlin) and there was not one colon or semicolon in the whole thing! At the same time, remember in fiction it is occasionally okay to write in broken sentences if it suits what you are trying to get across. Add a verb to a noun and you have a complete sentence. Even if it’s only to say: trees wept.

Avoid the passive

The meeting will be held at 7 o’clock or the meeting’s at seven.

The second is more solid. Of course there are times when you want a person’s action to be passive or to speak in a convoluted way to annoy other characters. So I’d say write however you write, make it active, then go back and consider what might need to be passive.

Be careful with adverbs (the -ly words)

It’s best to avoid the with dialogue tags. For instance, he said meniceingly. Can be shown better through speech: “Don’t you dare or I’ll pound you into the ground,” he said.

Description

Enliven the reader’s senses. This is ‘not just a question of how to, you see; it’s also a question of how much to’ and ‘in a way that will cause your reader to prickle with recognition’ (King, pp.136-137). The next tip is crucial to decide what you prefer in terms of description balanced with dialogue.

What does description consist of? Largely, locale, texture, and character description which can be a mixture of straight and poetic description to avoid stilted prose. King’s style is to give a few very well chosen details and move on. As well as to avoid clichés.

Read, and then read some more.

King says, “One learns most clearly what not to do by reading bad prose” and the same for good fiction. You can learn a lot from reading and paying attention. He suggests turning off the TV and replacing that time with reading.

Here I’ve listed a few of Stephen King’s tips. TO know more check out what he says about vocabulary on page 86, and dialogue on page 142.

Further reading

On Writing, Stephen King

The Elements of Style, E. B. White

Words Fail me, Patricia T. O’Conner

If you’re looking for a proofreader to help polish your final manuscript please get in touch.

Who is Emma?

Emma is a proofreader with 18 years of writing experience with businesses, academics and creative writers. She obtained a Creative Writing MA (St Andrews University) and a PhD in Storytelling (Warwick University). Then set up her own proofreading business and became a published author of fiction as well as academic literature such as Young People, Learning & Storytelling (Palgrave Macmillan).

L’article Write, according to Stephen King est apparu en premier sur Emma Parfitt Proofreading Editing Services.

Working towards a world full of colourful socks

I found these little stories in my creative writing archive this month, and thought I would share them with you. I was working at the Edinburgh College of Art at the time… Imagine you’re in Edinburgh around 2002, and you buy a newspaper hot off the printing press (a machine that used to print ink words on paper before everyone went digital).

Newspaper (It’s all in the name: ‘news’ printed on paper).

May issue

Queen missing!

Queen discovered missing last night by her bit-on-the-side. Fortunately found ten minutes later playing cards with her husband Albert. The Queen was quoted as saying: “One is not amused” as a dozen royal guards descended on their game of cards and upset the table ruining their game of snap. A reliable source says the table is still depressed twenty-four hours after the incident and under close supervision.

Goat for sale

Grey goat, all teeth present, polished hooves. Will sell for £2 and a pack of stamps. Answers to the name of Figaro.

Elephant escapes: Speedos found

Lovable Trunky, of Dundee, managed to squeeze herself out of an air vent yesterday and went on the run. Luckily the crash of a peanut lorry with a butter truck on the M90 slowed her progress. In a bizarre turn of events a man watching the incident on television noticed his blue Speedos dangling from her tail. He had earlier reported them missing at the Olympic swimming pool. Rob Adams said, moments after phoning Channel 4 News, “I’m glad to have them back like, I cannae swim without them.” Mr Adams and his Speedos were happily reunited by recorded delivery this morning.

Phantom giant rat

No further news at this time. We have been unable to reliably verify the existance of the phantom rat.

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Red riding hood

Red, there’s a reason why women claim it as their colour. It’s a power colour, interwoven with our right of passage into womanhood. This month I submitted a story to the Scottish Book Trust part a fairy tale and part biography inspired by my journey to doing a PhD. The Scottish Book Trust hosted the story for a while, but it is no longer available. The story was called Emma’s Little Red Coat. And I have the full short story below for you.

Little Emma’s Red Coat

Walls can be furry; at least the outer surface. The side where I found myself was ribbed and fleshy. I took one of granny’s knitting needles and pressed the tip against my finger. How did I get here? The options for a shy, self-deprecating girl, after university are simple: she puts away her cloak of dreams to find a job and somewhere to live. Naturally a biology degree led to cleaning, reception work, and pensions; where wolves eat little girls and call it profit. I used my meagre wages to travel: I hiked in Peru, worked with children in India, dove in the red sea, yet my palms itched for something more.

In stories the main character takes a while to figure out what they want. It takes a long time to worm your way out of a wolf’s stomach with only a pair of knitting needles. Trust me.

My granny was a clerk of the court. She knew the law inside out. She also liked to knit and read horror novels. The paths we chose weren’t neat little woollen knits. Granny’s wool became as red as blood. Clickety-clack, she weaves the wool into a coat to see me through winter.

I never had the chance to ask Granny about academic life because she died before I understood many things. I do not think she would be proud of the girl I was: quiet voice, long hair, crippling fear. Isn’t that what a girl is brought up to be? The good news is that I rebelled, silently, slowly. She would be proud of me now.

The “truth” of Granny’s journey, and my journey, is complex: mouthfuls of pins, flowers and feathers. Do you know the story well? Perrault lied: my granny never knitted me a cloak, she crocheted a shawl. Mr and Mr Grimm lied too: Stranger Danger? There was no hunter.

I raked myself free of the wolf’s belly without scissors or axes. I used the tools that my granny left me: curiosity, imagination and perseverance. I strove to escape the clichés of womanhood; scorned red shoes and threw porridge pots at would be suitors. I was dubbed Ice Queen by people too wrapped up in their furs to be open to “the other”. They did not see the woman who listened to the heartbeats of trees, laughed like a child, read for hours, and danced while ironing.

Have you noticed that in folk tales women’s blood is constantly spilled? Keep to the path little girl; be good, be docile; hide your face, curl your hair and avoid giving off the wrong impression. There are still plenty of wolves in the forest but it is not those wolves you have to be wary of.

I returned to university to create a story of my own making. I researched oral storytelling in schools; spoken, verbal, uttered. The social space created by stories. I am not saying the whole world is comprised of fiction, but I have certainly wove a fiction out of this journey.

The knitting needles are sticky in my hands. I will put them down. I do not need them anymore. I do not need the self-criticism and self-doubt. I must ignore those harmful words from parents, teachers, peers, which still echo in my ears. I need to have hope, I need to be nurtured and supported. To break the spell that led to the smooth and fleshy stomach of the wolf.

So let us, other, woman, man, run, run like my grandmother did towards something more satisfying. This is where our journey begins and ends.

Storytelling research

If you would like to know more about my work some initial thoughts are published here:-

Parfitt, E.L. 2014. Storytelling as a trigger for sharing conversations. Exchanges: the Warwick Research Journal. 1(2).

Young people, learning & storytelling was published with MacMillan in 2019.

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